Margaritas

On the rocks.  With salt.  And preferably chips and salsa.  Por favor.  Gracias.

Silence

Golden.

Greedo Action Figure

Okay, most of the original Star Wars action figures were cool, and more will probably show up here, but how cool was Greedo? He was the ultimate all-purpose alien action figure toy.  Sure, you could play Star Wars with him.  But he was also the perfect guy to send into Snail City to do a little gastropod bounty hunting.  He could even fill in as a particularly ugly bad guy in cops and robbers.

Snail City?  Yes, I built a series of ramps and superhighways for snails in my yard one day. Not sure what I was expecting, but the snails didn't provide the action I was seeking, hence the price on their heads collected by Greedo.

Rick Sutcliffe's MLB Debut

Rick Sutcliffe is an excellent color man for ESPN, and a cancer survivor.  Rick Sutcliffe won the 1984 NL Cy Young Award, going   16-1 for the Cubs after a mid-season trade from Cleveland.  Rick Sutcliffe was the 1979 NL Rookie of the Year for the Dodgers.  But three years before that, at the age of 20, he made his major league debut, on a Wednesday night at Dodger Stadium against the Astros in the final days of the 1976 season.  Before 11,600 fans, he got the start and tossed five shutout innings.  He didn't start another game in the majors until his rookie campaign in 1979.  He retired in 1994 with a lifetime record of 171-139.

Right Guard Sport

I've been wearing this stuff for so long that it's become the official daily scent of Ethan.  The packaging has changed about twenty times over the years.  For some reason, it's now known as 3-D.  (Maybe it used to just be for comic book characters?)  But it's been the same stuff coating my armpit for... what?... twenty years?  Invisible solid, fresh scent.  I guess it would be "invisible" if I were an ivory statue, or a snowman.  The last brand I remember using before this is Brut.  I'm pretty sure that was in high school.  Do they even still make Brut anymore?  At least I don't smell like Old Spice and Nivea Lotion, like my Grandpa did.

1977 Topps Steve Garvey

Things just look different when you're a kid. Steve Garvey looked like a baseball superhero.  He had those (for the time) impressively muscular forearms.  He had that supernatural self-confidence.  He always seemed to get the big hit, and flash that big smile in the post-game interview, saying all the right things about helping the team.  He was a certain Hall-of-Famer, right?

Of course, it turns out he was all Hollywood flim-flam.  A politician in cleats.  John Edwards batting cleanup.  But, at the time, this card epitomized everything that I thought was right about baseball.

Word: Bamboo

Bamboo is good stuff.  It's pretty.  It's plentiful.  And it's useful for many purposes.

But it's the word that I like.

Bamboo.  BAM!  BOO!

It sounds like a homicidal ghost with a loaded gun.

Or a visiting player hitting another home run against a beleaguered pitcher.

(I can't believe I spelled "beleaguered" right the first time...)

Goodyear Blimp

For most people, the Goodyear Blimp is that thing you see floating over the Super Bowl and other sporting events.  For me, it was a part of the scenery growing up in Hermosa Beach.  On most summer nights it could be seen (and heard) cruising along the coast, entertaining us with a simplistic light show. Its languorous pace across the sky perfectly echoed the pace of summer life in Southern California.  It's low buzzing hum was softly hypnotic.  It wasn't all good, though.  The blimp was one of the protagonists in my recurring nightmares, often endangering my sense of peace by trying to land in my next door neighbor's yard. 

Clayton Kershaw

Of course it's not fair that a 23 year old is constantly compared to Sandy Koufax.  But Koufax retired four years before I was born, so I'm perfectly happy to root for him to be the Koufax of the current generation.  He's certainly not disappointed this season, putting himself at the head of the Cy Young Award discussion with a month to go, in a league that includes Halladay, Lee and Lincecum. It's amazing that the Dodgers have a potential Cy Young winner and MVP, Matt Kemp, in a season that sees them struggling to reach the .500 mark.  I hope we have a chance to see Kershaw on the mound in Dodger Blue in a World Series someday.

House

Oh, to get away with saying whatever the fuck you want to say, to anyone, any time.

Oh, to be set free to self-medicate and flirt on the outskirts of sanity, and still be hailed as a genius.

Oh, to have a best friend who will come to your rescue at all times, though you treat him like dirt.

Oh, to use humanity as your own personal science lab, and get paid for it.

Oh, Cuddy.  Damn.

Wonder Woman

From the mouths of comic babes...

1982 Fleer Pete & Re-Pete

Pete and Re-Pete are on a baseball field.  Pete gets busted for gambling.  Who's left?

Re-Pete.

Pete and Re-Pete are on a baseball field.  Re-Pete gets busted for selling steroids.

Not exactly the fantasy of kids everywhere when this card came out, at about the time I was playing first base for the Phillies in Mira Costa Little League.  We all viewed Re-Pete with envy.  Of course, I wouldn't throw any big-league career back if you gave it to me.  Even a 2-for-16 (.143) cup o' coffee.

The Barbarian Nurseries

My job may or may not make its way onto this list, but it certainly has its moments.  A lot of the time I end up reading crap that I remember nothing about after a few weeks, without remorse.  But this is good stuff.  I haven't finished it yet, so it's still possible that the ending gets this tagged as "not."  But I doubt it.  I recently finished another highly-touted look into the psyche of contemporary U.S. immigrants, We the Animals, and was not impressed.  This, on the other hand, has me excited to arrive at work.  Funny.  Poignant.  Real.  Absurd.  Intimate.  Cinematic.  It's due out in the final week of September.  Written by Hector Tobar.

Caffeine

Must.

Have.

Caffeine.

Caffeine is to Ethan as...

Spinach is to Popeye.

Weed is to Cheech.

Big Butts are to Sir Mix-a-Lot.

Attention is to Sarah Palin.

You want me to function today?  Double chocolate mocha, hot, no whip.  Or forget about it...!

(Not) Potato Bugs

I used to encounter these things in the streets of Hermosa Beach, where I grew up in California.  There were a few things from my daily childhood adventures that would regularly invade my nightmares.  The potato bug is one of those things.  If you've never seen one, don't be fooled by the picture.  It's not the size of an ant.  It's about the size of a large snail.  Large enough that when it looks at you, you know it sees you.  Large enough that, no matter how much you hate it, you're not going to step on it because it's gonna really crunch, and too much will be left behind.  And what if you don't kill it the first time?  No, they're not cool at all.

Random Wiki

Bored?  Already read the baseball news?  Between time-wasting projects?  But not bored enough to work?  Time for a click or two on the Random Article link at Wikipedia.  There's never been a better way to find a path down which to allow your mind to wander.

Let's try it:

Wales Genocide Memorial
Hjalmar Sunden

Star Theater (Portland, Oregon)

Marc Angenot

Never mind.  Still bored...

Strat-O-Matic Baseball

What does Tommy Lasorda know that I don't?  I could have been a great big-league manager, given the chance.  Me, and a million other kids guiding teams of perforated paper cards to the World Series in our bedrooms.  Actually, if most of us ever got as far as a World Series, it was because we skipped ahead through at least a portion of the 162-game schedule.  I mean, it was a fun game, and all.  But, Jeeze, 162 games?  That would have taken all summer.  And I had to spend at least a little time on the beach, working on that future melanoma.  Plus, I didn't want to miss The Young and the Restless!

Beyoncé in Lingerie

And not just because I love a good rhyme...

Neosporin

Cut yourself trying to liberate a peach from its pit?

Try to move that baking sheet that you didn't realize just came out of the oven?

Your dog mistake your finger for a chew toy?

Decided to go get the mail without putting on your shoes?

You just had to pick at that thing, didn't you?

Neosporin.

1980 Topps Don Sutton

I stole this card from Burt (Bert?) Ramsey when I was 10 years old.

1980 was my first year collecting baseball cards.  I had all of the Dodgers... except for Don Sutton.  I made several trade offers to Burt (Bert?), willing to nearly empty the vault to satisfy my obsession.  But, being ten years old, the power to withhold the prize from me was worth more to Burt (Bert?).

So I stole it.  And I was happy/guilt-ridden until his mom made me give it back to him.

Fear not.  I soon found the card in a pack.

Popcorn Indiana Kettlecorn

Sweet.

Salty.

Just one more, please... bag, that is.

There really is a town in Indiana called Popcorn.

I imagine it's more pleasant living than that to be found in Burnt Corn, Alabama.

But I'm sure it's no Beaver Lick, Kentucky, either...

Kory Stamper

I before E?

Octopus?
Octopuses?
Octopi?

Gridiron?

Stinkeye?

Posh?

Brains.  Beauty.

Thank you Webster's.

'River Man' by Nick Drake

Nick Drake's string arrangement takes you from claustrophobia to escape, from despair to hope, from confusion to understanding, and back again, resolving nothing.  Has anyone ever sounded more alone than Nick Drake?  Is there more perfect music for the sleepless depths of night?  Pure.  Intimate.  Human.

Going to see the river man
Going to tell him all I can
About the ban on feeling free.
If he tells me all he knows
About the way his river flows
I don't suppose it's meant for me.

Vin Scully

The Dodgers announcer since 1950.  I hear in his voice late nights lying in bed next to my sleeping Grandfather, the cool Southern California ocean breeze on my face as I ride my bike along the coast, the thwack of a tennis ball thrown hundreds of times against a brick wall.  Home.  1988.  The year I left the only home that I'd ever known, and clung to the Dodgers like a life raft in October.  "In a year of the improbable, the impossible has happened!"  I don't want to imagine a world without Vin Scully.  The fact that he will return for 2012 is absolutely one of my favorite things.  "A very pleasant good evening to you, wherever you may be."